Relativity

Families
are knit
tight

Ever willing
to unite
together in joy,
pain, love
or fear

Families
hold one
another dear,
share
tears, dreams
and hopes

The ropes
of blood
run thicker
than water…

But wait,
I can’t
continue
down this path
of misconception

“Blood thicker
than water”
is certainly
not my perception

When being
a daughter
means
serving yourself
up to
the slaughter
of your soul

Where sisters
compete
their spirits
only replete
when they
dance
on the ashes
of your dreams

Where a father’s
silence
is really
passive violence
as his
disregard
shatters
your heart

Of this “family”
I want
no part

Decades
I spent
resisting
their constant
insisting
that I fail

Fighting
in vain
to earn
their
respect

Til
one day
it was
made plain …

I must
leave them
behind
else lose
my mind!

With
my feet
on this path
I shed
my wrath

And renounced
this “familial”
negativity

Now, once and for all
I’ve consigned them
to relativity.

57 thoughts on “Relativity

  1. Kavita says:

    When I saw the title, I didn’t quite know what to expect.. but I definitely didn’t expect this! I liked the way you’ve used the title in the poem..very cleverly done! :)
    When “family” does not respect your ideas and opinions, even after you have tried a lot, then I suppose one must move ahead. And then, maybe later, come back and drop in to say hullo. They’ll be glad to see what and who you’ve become.
    A good one, this!

  2. deadpoet88 says:

    Amazing poem, I can relate to it very well, as I often feel that way. We are expected to live up to our family’s expectations, but no one realized we may have our own dreams and wants. It is a terrible feeling being a disappointment to the family who raised you. Beautifully written, keep writing!

    • They are a dissapointment to you … not the other way around. A special person once told me to always look at the source. If they are living in such a way that can be respected, their comments may have merit. If they aren’t ignore them and move on without them.

      Took me a long time to get that, but I finally did.

  3. Jingle says:

    lovely done…
    is this your entry?
    please let me know! ;)

  4. pamela says:

    powerful poem and so much can be said about family!
    Pamela

  5. Jingle says:

    beautiful job!
    I linked you in….

    hope that you have fun doing some visiting! ;)

  6. Family ties, wonderful poem, I love your words and everything is so true about it, thank for sharing^^~

  7. Doni Cifra says:

    what a complete 180!

    so controversial too.

    but very nicely executed. congrats

  8. siubhan says:

    wow–strong finish. nicely done.

  9. Rajlakshmi says:

    very touching and confidant right…
    well expressed

  10. jvolp9 says:

    I really like this, and the way that the poem is “knit tight” like the family you describe. Very nice work.

  11. Wow, I really like this. Family members are the sterotypical most important people in our lives. But what happens when our family fails us?

    • Very true. Unfortunately, I think family members often can’t see beyond the stereotypes to evaluate themselves and their families realisticly. I wasn’t completely innocent, but I did realize the situation was toxic.

  12. brian says:

    this is a sad tale i know all too well in the lives of many of the kids that i work with…i am glad you made it through…many do not…tight write!

  13. buttercup600 says:

    It’s sad but a fact of life…which I can identify with…You have captured it so very well and I love your work so much!!

  14. almondjoycie says:

    You write in the way that I think! And I think I will be enjoying your blog for a long time. Keep writing, maybe I will be courageous enough to bare my soul one of these days.

    • Thank you, I hope you come back. This one made me cringe when I posted it, but I figure if you’re going to write you can only write what you know so the choice was made for me …

      Best wishes.

  15. it is a hard realization to come to when one faces the truth that family that should care does not care at all about anything but keeping family secrets, “at any cost”
    realizations like this hurt, but this and much much worse are the real truth…….

  16. irradiatedpoetry says:

    This is very very nice, I feel the same way when it comes to family. I loved this. Very good job! :)

  17. Jamie Dedes says:

    I had an inkling of what this would be about from the start . . . the pain and disappointment of family life is shared by so many, too many . . . and it’s sad. You’ve written beautifully about it and perhaps others reading it will have the strength to just walk away if they haven’t already. Sometimes that’s the best we can do. Very fine poem. . . good job on many, many levels. . .

  18. If a family’s only bonding is thru blood, then maybe it is not a family at all!! A family is where love is shared unconditionally, feelings respected despite differences, dreams nurtured and not thrashed in individual opinions. Beautifully said in your poem.

  19. joanny says:

    A great read, volumes can be said about family.- or one can read your poem, very well done.

    Joanny
    from thursdays rally
    http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/

    two posts today this one below is for jingle.s rally
    http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/2010/07/dance-of-fire-el-amor-brujo.html

  20. “The ropes of blood run thicker than water” Thank you for this line as well as your sister and father stanzas. I feel that society is still set in its way of defining what a family is. However, family is what you make it. Be them friends, mentors, or a grandmother in place of a mother, family is what you define it as. Your “family” is family only by definition; by the ropes that once bound you to them. As a believer in positivity and surrounding yourself with people who will help you instead of hinder you, do what is in your heart. Shed your wrath and carry your strength with you instead. Great Piece!

    • Thank you. My daughter is being taught that the only inherent relationship blood ties create is a “blood relation.” She will choose her family based on how people treat her and the bonds of love and respect. I feel that is the healthiest way.

  21. Chloe says:

    At first, I was disagreeing with your sentiments about families..until I read the following verse:

    “But wait,
    I can’t
    continue
    down this path
    of misconception”

    Then, I’m like, “okay, time to pull up a chair!”

    I absolutely loved this poem – so well written and so true for so many of us. Another killer line for me was “Where a father’s silence is really passive violence as his disregard shatters your heart” – wow, I might post that to my own father!

    Amazing stuff. Cheers, Chloe :D xx

  22. Anky0112 says:

    wow…. quite strong… I appreciate it. :)

  23. Jingle says:

    awesome entry,
    what a thrill to see you in.

    blessings.

    unique perspective, but it hits a home run.
    cheers.

  24. I agree I read a lot of posts about standing with your family no matter what (which is awesome in healthy circumstances) but my dad is a psychopath (no exaggeration technically) and he’s abused on every level even torture I can’t have that in my life but I get so much guilt about it. So posts like these are refreshing because sometimes your family is dangerous. A lot of people stay in abusive families but just because they are family doesn’t give them the right to treat you terribly, if anything they should treat you better but they should be held to some standard of decency in any case. Awesome post!

  25. Appreciate you sharing this with us. I wrote something similar (to the beginning) in college about my own family. The overwhelming feeling I’m left with from this is, bravo to you for recognizing the need to protect yourself, and love yourself the way you deserve!

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